Apocalypse, Now?

24 08 2012
English: Red sunrise over Oostende, Belgium

English: Red sunrise over Oostende, Belgium (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

So much to-do, lately, about the “apocalypse”:  proclamations of the “end times”, the “end of the world”, the “devastation of everything”, the “total destruction of life as we know it”.  All things full of fear.

So I decided to do some digging.  I looked at the definitions of “apocalypse”, and without boring you to tears with all of them, I’ll sum up my interpretation of what I found:

 

APOCALYPSE:  An unveiling

I see that as quite promising, don’t you?  Each moment is an “unveiling”, in my little mind.  Nothing that ends anything, except the moment that has just passed.  Nothing that hints at devastation or destruction.  Only an opening up, and yes, an unveiling of the new moment.

Comforting, really.

© Janet Mitchell, August 2012





Diamonds and Gold

11 08 2012
Anahata chakra symbolizes the consciousness of...

Anahata chakra symbolizes the consciousness of love, empathy, selflessness and devotion. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Love and empathy, manifested through our lives, are more precious and rare than diamonds and gold.

Sometimes, we must mine deeply for them.  But if we dig far enough, we will find them, waiting to be discovered and realized and shared.

Love and empathy, forces more powerful than any other in the universe. 

No force can stop or destroy love and empathy. 

Even death, itself, cannot obliterate love and empathy: when a person dies, the love and empathy felt and realized and shared by that person lives on in the lives of those who were gifted those most precious of all riches. 

And so on, and so on, and so on, and it never ends. . .

 

©Janet Mitchell, August 2012

 

 

 

 





I’ll Be Somewhere, Watching

28 07 2012

Leading you Down the Garden Path at Hidcote Ma...

Angela Burrows believed in a hereafter.  She thought that was a good way to go out, believing there was something else waiting there.  Angela said her body was done.  All worn out.  She told her family, her friends, her hospice nurse that she would go away on June 25th.  She told them she’d seen quite a few people who were already where she was headed.  They were waiting for her.  They wanted her to come, now.  She told them she’d come when she was ready.  On June 25th.

So Angela planned a memorial service for herself.  She spent hours with her daughter pouring over details of who, what, where and how that should happen.   It was to be in her own backyard, which was filled with hydrangeas, massive decorative cherry trees, a couple of plum and crabapple trees, and little park benches scattered here and there.  There was to be no casket.  Angela was to be cremated, because she said she wouldn’t be needing her body after she died, and she couldn’t see the sense in taking up all that ground space to bury something that wasn’t even useful anymore.  And, she thought a burial plot, casket, funeral and all the fuss surrounding that was a huge waste of money.  A simple urn would suffice just fine.  She told her daughter that she didn’t much care what was done with the ashes and the urn.  Because she’d be somewhere else, anyway.

Angela and her daughter and her friends cried together and laughed together, as they planned this one, last celebration of Angela.  Some of her friends thought it rather morbid to be planning such a thing, so they chose not to participate.  Some found no humor in any of it.  But, Angela said she suspected the joke was on everyone.  Because she’d be somewhere, no matter what everyone else did now.  Angela found happiness and sadness, humor and grief in moving through this whole process.  And if she could find humor in planning her own memorial service, well, it was not her problem if others couldn’t.

When all the planning was done, Angela gave her daughter one, last, stern warning: “Do this like we’ve planned it, because I’ll be somewhere, watching.  I will know if you screw this one up.”

So June 25th came, and Angela Burrows breathed her last breath.  Her daughter was shocked, but not surprised.  Death is always shocking, the way everything keeps going along, as though nothing really significant has happened.  The sun comes up, traffic lights keep working, the wind blows the boughs of trees, children run and play, work goes on, and the moon rises again in the sky.  But for Angela’s daughter, her mother’s death was shocking, and time froze.

Despite the frozen time, Angela’s daughter carried out her mother’s wishes.  The memorial came and went, just as Angela had planned.  And though Angela’s daughter was pretty sure it wasn’t possible, she wondered if her mother had also had a hand in planning the perfectly blue, cloudless sky and the faint breeze that made the cherry and plum and crabapple blossoms gently waft, spreading a sweet scent of summer across Angela Burrows’ back yard.

 —————————————————–

The hospice nurse went to her mailbox and retrieved a curious manila envelope.  She didn’t recognize the return address.  She carefully teased the flap open with a fingernail.  Inside was a large photograph, with a note attached:

Look at the image in the upper-right hand corner,

just next to the plum-tree.

The note was signed, simply: “Angela Burrows’ daughter”.

The nurse immediately recognized the back yard as that of Angela Burrows.  In the upper-right corner, just next to the plum-tree, floated a shining image, slightly opaque.  It was clearly Angela Burrows, doing just as she had said she would do.  She was there, watching, just to make sure that this one didn’t get screwed up.

(The hospice nurse still has this photo .  . .)

©Janet Mitchell, July 2012.                                                                                                                                                                                              Any resemblance to any actual person, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.  All characters have been fictionalized.





Wounded People . . .

24 07 2012

Wounded people, if not nurtured and given the chance to heal, wound other people.

Image of Wound Man taken from The Method of Cu...

Image of Wounded Man (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

At what point do the wounded ones become the ones who wound?

At what point do we stop asking ourselves how we can help the wounded, and start thinking we must punish them for the wounds that they inflict?

At what point do we decide it’s time to stop helping to heal the wounded? 

At what point do we stop asking ourselves what role we had to play in the wounding?

At what point do we decide we are no longer accountable, in any way?

At what point do we give up?

At what point do we ex-communicate?

At what point do we decide the wounded one has become a throw-away?

©Janet Mitchell, July 2012





Disembodied Voice

11 07 2012

This is one of those real but surreal tales, one of those that make people with children shiver.   Beyond that initial chill, the unexplained effects in this story make people tinkle with nervous laughter,  because, as everyone knows, these things happen only in fairy tales or in Stephen King novels.  But, deep down inside, we all know that these things really happen.  Something has happened in everyone’s life that cannot be explained.  We’ve all been there, at one time or another — or we know someone who has.   But people learn, early on, not to talk about those things, lest they be thought of as “gone round the bend”, or worse yet, “the old woman that lives by herself with a houseful of cats”.  Some call it a twilight zone, some just coincidence, and others say it’s a guardian angel or sixth sense that leads us to do (or not to do) what our character in this story does.  Some say it’s God, some say a higher power, some say it’s our soul speaking softly in our ear to ward us away from danger.  Whatever you choose to call it, know that this story is real: the characters are real, the circumstances are real, and the outcome, which you shall see, is real.

The day was warm, even edging toward hot.  At least for Washington State, where 80 degrees is sweltering.  It was a wondrous Saturday afternoon in July, and the condo parking lot was full of people, happily enjoying a day off work, with gorgeous sunshine and blue skies to boot~~a rare combination for this part of the country.  Cars were being washed, somebody’s boom box was blaring Bob Seger and The Silver Bullet Band’s “Shame on the Moon“,  children zipped by on their skate boards, dodging cars and people, amazingly missing both.  Men, usually seen only in tailored suits and ties, were now bare-chested, sporting cut-off jeans, deeply engrossed in bringing their chrome-rimmed wheels to a mirrored shine.  Women, otherwise seen in broad-shouldered, padded jackets and pencil skirts, sloshed about washing their cars in flip-flops, short-shorts and halter tops, hair clipped in loops on top of their heads, or hanging wet and loose to their waists.  High-pitched shouts and squeals of glee could be heard from smaller children and teenagers in the nearby community pool.

Two little girls sat on a sidewalk, making stick-figures on the cement with colored chalk.  Occasionally, a giggle erupted as they pointed at a shape they saw in the clouds, then resumed their chalk-frescoe version of the cloud-man/beast seen moving across the sky.  They giggled again.

“They keep changing shapes, Mommie!”  The little girl looked up at a young 30-something woman, who stood with keys in hand, purse slung across her shoulder.

“That’s what clouds do, Honey!  You’ll have to draw fast to keep up with them!”  The little girl’s mother peered up at the clouds.  “It looks like an elephant, now, don’t you think?”

The little girl’s nose scrunched, as though something stung when she sniffed.   She squinted for a long while at the clouds in the sky, then frowned.  “The bad man in the blue truck,” she mumbled quietly.

“What did you say?”  Her mother kneeled, put her hands on her little girl’s shoulders.  “Look at me, Tanya.  Tell me what you just said.”  Tanya’s mother looked from her daughter to her little friend.  “Emilie?  What is this about?”  Emilie stared, blank-faced, at the chalk frescoes on the sidewalk.

Tanya’s mother looked around the parking lot at the neighbors.   Everything seeming so normal.

“The Blue Truck Man, Mommie.  Remember?”  Tanya’s eyebrows knitted together.  For someone only six, she looked old, thought Tanya’s mom.  With a sudden start, she stood.

“Oh, Honey!!  The Blue Truck Man!!  Oh, honey, I am so sorry!”  She reached down and lifted Tanya up into a bear hug.  “I forgot, I forgot.”  She looked up at the clouds again, and pointed.  “See, Tanya?  He’s gone now.  He’s just a rabbit, now!”  She tried to make Tanya laugh.  But Tanya didn’t laugh.

Emilie spoke up, still looking somber.   Way too somber for a six-year-old.  “Remember the paper the school sent home?  About the Blue Truck Man?  I think Tanya’s talking about that Blue Truck Man.”

Tanya’s mom recalled the two notices the school had sent home over the past six weeks.  It warned parents of three, separate, alleged kidnapping attempts of three young children in the area.  The only consistent, specific piece of information available was that a man, driving a blue truck of unknown make, model or year, had stopped these children, asking for directions.  His aggression seemed to be escalating.  On the last attempt, he had actually gotten out of his truck and approached a little girl, who had, fortunately, run, screaming and shouting, to a nearby home and banged on the door.  Apparently, this had frightened the man off, because he “speeded away in the blue truck”, as reported by the little girl.

Tanya’s mom scanned her surroundings again.  Unlikely, she thought, that anything like that would happen on a day like this, with so many people outdoors, so much activity going on, and during the bright sunshiny daylight.  She tried to reassure herself, silently.  She had to get to the pharmacy for medication, that afternoon.  Surely, the kids would be fine, especially with Tanya’s big sister in the condo next door.  Momentarily, she considered loading the children up in the car and taking them with her, but they seemed to be having such a good time!  Surely, she was over-reacting.  People were all over the place!

“Stay here, guys.  I’ll be right back.  I’m going to talk to Annie.”   She turned on her heels and marched up the sidewalk to the neighbor’s condo.  The Cavanaughs were home.  Their son answered the door.

“Hey, David, could I talk to your mom?”

“Sure.”  David ambled slowly down the hallway, tripping on the scatter rug as he went.  MOMMMMMMMM !  Annie’s MOMMMMMMMM wants to TAAAAAAAAAAALK to YOOOOOOOOOOO !”  He shouted.  It was a small condo.

“Ya don’t have to yell, David.  I’m three feet away!”  Ellen Cavanaugh came to the door.  “Sorry.  Wassup?”  Ellen looked like she’d been sleeping.

“Hey, Ellen.  Annie’s here, isn’t she?”  She peeked around the corner into the living room.

“Uh, yeah.  They’re back in David’s room.  Playing Nintendo.”  Clatter and bangs and shouts emanated down the hallway from David’s room.  Ellen turned toward the hallway.  “WANNA KEEP IT DOWN TO A LOW ROAR BACK THERE?!!  THE NEIGHBORS AREN’T INTERESTED IN PLAYING NINTENDO WITH YOU GUYS !!”  She turned back to Annie’s mom.  “Why?  You want Annie home?”

“Uh.  No.  I’m~ I’ve just got to run real quick to the pharmacy, maybe 10 minutes–15 tops.  I wanted Annie to keep an eye on Tanya.”

“No bother.  I’ll do it.  Where is she?”

“Out on the sidewalk.”  She grinned.  “Becoming the next Leonardo da Vinci with Emilie.”

“No prob.  I’ll be here.”  She looked down at her rumpled clothes, self-consciously, then ran fingers through her bed-head hair.  “I was just reading.”

“Thanks, Ellen.  I won’t be long.”

“No worries.  Go!”   Ellen smiled and closed the door behind her.

Tanya’s mom hurried back down the fifteen steps from the second floor to the sidewalk.  “Tanya, I’m gonna run to the drug store.  Be back in a minute.”

Tanya looked momentarily panic-stricken, then Emilie piped up, “Tanya.  C’mon.  Draw the clouds with me.”  Emilie seemed to have completely forgotten The Blue Truck Man.

“Annie’s at David’s, and Ellen says she’ll keep an eye out.  Go up there if you aren’t comfortable out here.”  Tanya’s mom scanned the parking lot once again.  It remained full of people and activity.  She sighed.  She really was a worry-wart.  It was a beautiful, bright, sunshiny Saturday, with everybody and God playing in the parking lot.  This was just silly.  She’d be back in ten minutes, and she was worrying about absolutely nothing.

She turned and trotted up the fifteen stairs to her condo on the second floor, stepped inside and grabbed her prescription, then turned and closed the door, keys in hand.  She inserted the key and turned the deadbolt to the lock position.  But something wouldn’t let her leave it there.  She reinserted the key and unlocked the deadbolt.  “Those little stinkers are going to run in here and get into major mischief the minute I leave, if I leave this door unlocked,” she muttered to herself.  She started to reinsert the key to relock the deadbolt, but it would only fit halfway.  Puzzled, she looked down at her keys to make sure she had the right one.  She did.  “That’s odd,” she thought.  Again, she inserted the key, and this time it went in all the way.  She turned the deadbolt to lock, then turned to leave, but couldn’t take a step down the stairs.

“Don’t do it,” she heard.  The whisper startled her, sounding so real that she turned to see if someone was standing behind her.  No one.  “Hm,”  she thought.  Sounded like someone whispering to her, but perhaps she’d said it out loud and not realized it.  She turned again toward the stairs.  “Ja-net.”  The whisper was sharp, urgent, the first syllable louder than the first.  She jumped.  She turned back to the deadbolt and unlocked it, then ran down the stairs to her car.

“Bye, hon!  Remember, Annie’s right up there!”  She pointed to the condo next to hers, a few feet away.  “Back in just a few minutes!”  The parking lot remained packed with summer people, enjoying the rare, Seattle Saturday.  Janet pulled swiftly out of her parking slot and drove away.

__________________

When I returned from the drug store, I was greeted with a parking lot swarming with police cars, cops and two children sobbing hysterically.  Despite the warm security of the summer day and the neighborhood full of people, that security had been false.  Two young teenagers who happened to be bicycling by were the only witnesses.  Everyone else was too preoccupied with their fun-filled activities and the carefree feeling that the summer day brought to notice.  The two witnesses said that, just as I pulled out of my parking spot, a blue truck whipped from around the corner, sliding to a sudden halt into the space I had just left open.  Tanya and Emilie were still on the sidewalk chalking frescoes.   The man emerged from his truck, and the witnesses stated that it appeared he held something out toward Emilie and Tanya.  He seemed to speak to them, a warm smile on his face.  He wandered to the passenger side of his truck and opened the door.  He gestured toward the girls, then toward the open door.

My daughter told me she screeched, “Emilie, it’s The Blue Truck Man!”  And she grabbed Emilie’s hand, both scrambling, just ahead of him, up the fifteen stairs to the door of our condo. The witnesses stated he followed the girls, making a pounding ruckus as he went.  He was a morbidly obese man, so he couldn’t move quite as fast as the two, young girls he was chasing.  My daughter stated that she reached for the condo door and it opened.  She slammed it shut, and threw the deadbolt.  The man stood pounding on the door, despite the people who were still swarming around, unaware yet of what was happening just a few feet away.  My daughter dialed 911, and the pounding soon stopped.  The witnesses watched as the man came lumbering down the stairs, jumped into his blue truck and screeched out of the parking lot.

I don’t know if they ever caught The Blue Truck Man.

But I do know, if I’d not listened to that disembodied voice, two little girls likely would not be here today.

And when I have a feeling that something’s wrong, when I hear a voice, I pay attention.  Very close attention.

©Janet Mitchell, edited and published July 2012.





Eternity

15 06 2012
Eternity, as symbolized by Armenians since anc...

Eternity, as symbolized by Armenians since ancient times. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Eternity,

timelessness,

devoid of measure and space.

Linear brain

devises a way

to somehow exact a place

where all exists

(where no thing is)

mortal mind insists

on one point,

a place,

on one moment,

a time,

infinitely huge and small,

stretching out endlessly in a line,

forgetting time

is three-dimensional,

(yet, not at all),

only a construct, a tool of our mind,

a vain attempt to

define what is

everything and nothing,

forever and never:

we cannot comprehend.

So we build a box,

a tidy, measured square,

time marking our lives in

seconds, minutes, hours,

and years spent there.

If not for us looking

it would not be,

but for our eyes

there’d be nothing to see,

but for our ticking clocks

there’d be only one moment:

this eternal Now.

© Janet Mitchell, June 2012





The Golden Rectangle

4 05 2012
AnimationGoldenerSchnitt

AnimationGoldenerSchnitt (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

 

Spirals created from

rectangles,

round and round,

down and down, or

perhaps it’s up and up.

How did it get there,

morphing from

sharp right angles

to softly defined:

circles within circles,

arches within arches,

ever smaller,

that spin-off to infinity?

I do not know,

though I feel the flow,

I feel it inside of me.

Eternity springing

from finite, parallel,

adjacent lines,

abruptly intersected

with perfectly arched

curves.

A simple rectangle,

transformed somehow

to circling corkscrews,

from rectangles,

ever-widening springs.

The rectangle,

then a triangle,

the Golden One,

spinning out

to no-time.

The Golden Rectangle

making us dizzy

when we try to comprehend.

Take a lens,

peer through it,

and follow all

right angles,

follow each spiral.

There we find life.

There we find infinity.

Except we cannot find it

within our mortal minds.

©Janet Mitchell, May 2012, All Rights Reserved

 

 





What We Need More Of

15 04 2012
Compassion (fragment)

Compassion (fragment) (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Compassion is a feeling of deep identification with a person who has been stricken with some sort of difficult feeling or situation.  But that’s not the end of true compassion.  Compassion carries with it a desire to act to help alleviate or soothe another, whether it be their feelings or their situation or both.  The opposite of compassion is indifference, the lack of a desire to act to help.

Empathy is similar, but is more an intellectual identification with a person in a difficult situation; we identify because we’ve been there, and we know, we think we can understand what that person might be going through.  The opposite of empathy is a feeling of separateness from another person, and I use the word “another” purposely, because it implies that we perceive our self as ”other”, or separate, from that person.  Lack of empathy is a feeling of emotional, physical, social, spiritual and/or psychological disconnection from another person who appears to be in some sort of distress.

Civility is an act of politeness or courtesy.

It seems to me that civility, which we sorely need more of, cannot happen without a combination of compassion and empathy.  But for that to occur, we must first nurture compassion within self, toward self.  Just as we cannot love another person, before first loving self, we cannot have compassion or empathy and behave with civility toward others, unless we first nurture those things within, directed toward self.  Someone once told me that forgiveness begins with self-forgiveness; that the ability to forgive an “other” is in direct correlation with the ability to forgive self.  I think those are wise words.

If I was an “other” person than my self, if I had moved through that other life, dealt with exactly the same situations, had been dealt the same hand of cards, I would be that person.  I would make the same choices and have the same feelings as that person.  The understanding of this concept holds the key to the ability to have empathy or compassion, and to behave with civility toward those other than self.  And it’s strongly connected to what we know as the Golden Rule.

Many years ago, on the first day of the first quarter of a new college school year, I noticed a young woman leaving my classroom ahead of me.  She’d hardly spoken a word during class, and as we took turns introducing ourselves to other class members, I noticed that her cheeks seemed to be on fire with scarlet, her voice so faint that it was almost a whisper, and she’d kept her gaze trained on her desktop as she spoke.  I felt so badly for her, because I, too, had great difficulty speaking in large groups.  I, also, was painfully introverted at that time in my life.  Her discomfort burned viscerally through me, as I listened to her speak.  I wanted to make the pain go away for her.

As the class period came to an end, and students spilled out the doors from the room, this young woman straggled a bit behind.  I followed.  Her shoulders were a bit stooped, and she hung her head so that her beautiful, long hair fell like a curtain, hiding her face.  I moved a bit more quickly to catch up to her.  Her sense of being an “other”, of being separate, seemed to scream out as she moved across the tarmac.  As I reached her side, I noticed she looked away, ever so slightly.

“I’m Janet,” I said, smiling at her hair, because I couldn’t see her face.

She slowed, almost to a stop, and gave me a cautious, sidelong, almost deer-in-the-headlights look.  She didn’t smile.  “Hullo,” she responded, and her head lifted ever-so-slightly, but she kept her eyes averted.

“Where’s your next class?” I asked, still smiling.

“Um,” she began.  She stared at the ground and struggled, with one hand, to uncrumple a wadded-up piece of paper.  “It’s, um, Introduction to Women’s Studies.  Actually, I’m not sure where it is.”  She wanted to ask for guidance, I knew, but somehow she couldn’t.

“Wow!  That’s where I’m going, too!” I said.  “Wanna walk with me?”

She turned and faced me directly, for the first time.  She seemed relieved.  “That’d be great,” she said.  And she smiled.  ”Thanks.”

Later in the day, one of my instructors approached me.  “I saw you earlier today.”

“When?” I asked with a slight frown, because I had no idea what she was talking about.

“When you asked Kathy – the new student in first period – when you asked if she wanted to walk with you.”

“Oh,” I replied.  “She just seemed so frightened.”  I shrugged my shoulders.  “I’ve been alone in foreign places, and it’s not a good feeling.”

My instructor gave me a warm, yet somewhat stern, smile.  “It’s called empathy,” she said.  She turned and started to walk away, but abruptly stopped and turned back to me.  “It’s very rare, so don’t ever lose it.”  It was an order.  With that, she marched away.

I’ve never forgotten those words, though I must admit I’ve not always behaved in a compassionate, empathetic, civil way.  But I keep trying.  Because I think those are things that take practice to cultivate and nurture and maintain.  The most beautiful garden won’t stay that way if we don’t keep pulling out the weeds, watering, feeding and pruning, and giving it the care it needs to thrive.  Empathy, compassion and civility are amazingly infectious things that flourish and grow in ripples, moving outward to affect many others, stemming from just one, simple act of kindness.  I don’t know this, but I’d wager a bet that Kathy did the same thing for someone else, at some point in her life, after that day.  At least, I’d like to think so.  Because I believe with all of my heart that each of us can and does make a difference, and together, it’s a phenomenon.

© Janet Mitchell, April, 2012





My Zen Dog

14 04 2012
A rough collie.

A rough collie. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

My day was unfolding as usual.  Nothing especially different going on, but for some reason,  everything felt special and unique.  I sat on the back porch, sipping on a cup of coffee, listening to the chirps of birds awakening to a new day, the sounds of one, then two, then several dogs joining together in a cacophony of barking, squirrels high in the trees chattering to one another, a tree branch brushing with a shushing sound against another nearby tree branch.  Soundlessly, clouds in the brightening sky bumped against each other, changing shapes spontaneously, creating a smooth symphony of art.  And so it went, nature communicating with itself, embracing changes, without resistance.  It occurred to me that it is what it is.   

My collie lay at my feet, his ears perking upright, his eyes shifting to and fro at the noises around him, at the sky, then to me.  “Did you hear that?” he seemed to ask with his eyes.  “Did you see that?” he winked.  I wondered what he heard and what he saw, that I did not.  He seemed to be present, in each moment, then leave it behind quickly, as he moved on to the next.  He is my Zen master.  He teaches me, reminds me, to be present.  Always present.  “Here and now are all that is,” his eyes tell me.  Then he nods off to sleep.   

At once, the sensation of my body changed.  It was as if my whole body expanded to the most huge of huge things, and at the same time, my body felt smaller than the pinpoint of the smallest pin.  I was infinitely huge and the smallest, small imaginable, simultaneously.  There were no other sensations.  Sounds and vision, taste and smell, were gone.  Only the sense of being remained.  Vaguely, it was a sense of touch, but more than that.  I felt a rush of something indescribable, moving from my center, outward, toward my feet, my head, my limbs.   

The moment passed, and I looked at my collie, now peering from beneath his open eyelids up at me.  His ears perked again as I patted his soft head gently.  He grinned.  He stood and nuzzled his snout against my body, sniffing, sniffing, sniffing me, from head to toe.  He brushed his wet nose against my face, then turned circles on the patio, and lay down again at my feet.

The sights and sounds returned.  The taste and smell of my coffee tickled my tongue and nose.  I felt in awe.  My collie peered up at me again, through half-closed eyes.  “What did you expect?” he seemed to ask.  Then he closed his eyes and slept.

©Janet Mitchell, April 2012





Mystery Man

11 04 2012

Detail of a barbed wire fence

I’m looking for the Mystery Man, who saved my life in 1977.

It was a hot, humid day in Webster, Texas, when I jumped into my beloved, red, Volkswagen bug, heading down a two-lane road that meandered through farm country.   Houses were few, separated by miles.  Aside the rural road were six-foot “bar ditches”, used for water run-off.  All seemed to be well with the world, aside from the fact that I had no air-conditioning in my little bug, and it was hot, hot, hot. 

I cruised along at 60 MPH.  Nothing seemed amiss.  For the moment.

Suddenly, my little bug swerved.  I tried to maintain my position in the lane, but something was wrong, very wrong.  I could not control my car, which seemed to have taken on a will of its own. 

 My last thought was, “Oh, my God, I’m out of control.”  At that point the world went black.

I awoke the next day, bandaged and hurting in places, which prior to that moment, I didn’t even know existed.  I lay in a hospital bed.  I recall reaching with my hands to touch my legs, to assure myself they were still there.  A hazy relief swept over me, as I discovered that all body parts were present.  Fearful, and not knowing if my body still worked, I cautiously went from head to toe, carefully testing each part of my body, and was relieved to find that everything seemed to respond, as it should.  I couldn’t figure out, through my muted brain function, why I was where I was.  I had no recollection of what had happened.

I was to find out, later, that the right rear wheel had folded under the axle of my car.  This sent my beloved bug swerving out of my control.  Somehow, my hurling body bent the gear-shift to an almost 45-degree angle.  An unsheathed axe which had been lying on the backseat floorboard had missed me, as my car whirled around and flung itself into the bottom of the roadside ditch.  My head had hit the closed passenger window, dead-center, and popped it out, somehow without breaking my neck.  My body flew through the now-vacant space which had once been occupied by the passenger window.  I met with a very unfriendly barbed-wire fence, then bounced into the bottom of the six-foot bar-ditch, where I skidded on my shoulder into an equally unfriendly, hard object, ripping away skin and muscle, somehow missing the vital, carotid artery in my neck by just millimeters.  My little, bent and broken red bug, landed just feet away from my body.

I suffered a concussion, bruises, abrasions and major lacerations that required skin grafts, but no broken bones.  Miraculous.  I remember nothing.  Shock is a blessing.

I’m not sure when, but I think it was a couple of days later, when a man appeared at the door of my hospital room. 

He hesitated, I suppose waiting for a flicker of recognition on my face.  He seemed somewhat familiar, but I just couldn’t place him. 

“Do you know who I am?”  he asked.  “Do you remember me?”

I struggled hard to recall how I knew him, but my mind drew a foggy blank.

“I’m sorry.  You seem familiar, but I don’t know why.”  I felt embarrassed.  Something inside of me told me that I should remember him. 

He smiled.  “I was behind you in my pick-up truck, before your accident.  It looked like something happened to the rear-end of your car, because it went completely out of control.”

I guess he could tell from my Pacific Northwest accent that I wasn’t from around there, so he went on to explain.  “After your accident, I called for the EMTs on the CB emergency channel. I gave you first aid ’til they got there.  I really didn’t know if you’d make it.”

I didn’t know what to say, except, “Thank you.” 

He continued, “I was on my way home from work.  My wife and I were planning to leave for a vacation that night.”  He paused.   “But I couldn’t leave until I was sure you were okay.”

I was astonished.  I was a stranger to him.  How many people would postpone their vacation, just to make sure a stranger, who’d met with misfortune, had survived?

“My wife works upstairs.  She’s sorta kept me updated on how you’ve been doing.”  He pointed toward the ceiling, as he spoke.  “I can see you’re okay, so I can go now.”  He  smiled again, then turned without another word, and walked away.  He gave no name.

I’ve always wanted to thank this man for saving my life, for if he’d not come along, I may not have been discovered for hours.  I would surely have bled out and died.  I’ve never found him.  And, as I discovered later, there was no upstairs where his wife could have worked.  My hospital room was on the top floor.

Who was this Mystery Man, if indeed, he was a man? 

I often wonder. . .

 ©Janet Mitchell, April 2012








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